Gorebone

'Arry Potter for Comprehensive Kids... If the Bash Street Kids had nightmares, they would be something like 'Gorebone'...

This Children's Fantasy Adventure for ages 10 and upwards (including Adults) follows the surreal adventures of Gordon Bone - Gorebone to his friends - a twelve year-old mischief-maker who can never get to school on time.

The excuses to his teachers are unbelievable, absurd, ridiculous - and all true! A dog didn't eat his homework, and the bus wasn't late: Gordon's got much better stories. He missed registration one morning because the terraced street outside his house transformed into a wood with an arcade video game installed amongst the nettles - and of course he had to have a play; on another day the battery on his alarm clock didn't run down at all: instead Gorebone found himself lost in a creepy industrial estate stalked by freaky mushroom men; and then there was the hole in the road that wasn't there before (or indeed afterwards) from which Gordon could hear ghastly snoring sounds... all of which manages to keep Gorebone from getting to school on time and ensures he collects a record number of detentions from the formidable Mrs Crouch...

But Gordon isn't daydreaming, and he isn't losing his marbles. His strange experiences are caused by the influence of something nasty buried under the school sports field: he is being manipulated by the Hob, a race of fungal monsters that have been lying dormant for many years, waiting for the special alarm clock that will wake them. And this alarm clock just happens to come in the form of a magical (albeit rather sinister) board game Gorebone finds hidden in the cistern of his attic, an arcane heirloom from his long dead parents...

It is only when Gorebone and his friends begin to play the game during detention on Sports Day that they realize what awful events they have set in motion. All hell breaks loose, literally: abominations from a child's wildest nightmare tear their way up through the turf of the sports field - in the middle of the egg and spoon race!

But with the dice rolling and not all of the players actually human, will it be Gorebone or the evil Hob that makes it first to the final square on the board, ominously named The Headmaster's Office? Even more worryingly, what will happen when they get there? And can Gordon's armchair-bound grandmother actually help him, even after she's dead?

There are macabre thrills and surreal chills to be found, and hopefully a few laughs too. Explore the golf course, where the players have no faces; run from the school swot who turns into a Flyagaric Toadstool with anger issues; join Gordon's best mate Freak on the roof of the bike-sheds as he blasts away at grotesque horrors from Doodle Hell with a bespoke Gatling Gun.

The Battle of Barfields Comp has begun...


Mickey Lewis is the author of two paperback novels published by BBC Books: Doctor Who: Rags and Doctor Who: Combat Rock. mickey.lewis@yahoo.com

Dan Powell is a freelance Graphic Designer. Dan designed and created the cover for Gorebone. Info@mrroyale.com www.mrroyale.com