One Fish, Two Fish

Scott is in a lot of trouble.

His vet is holding his frozen dog to ransom, and if he can’t come up with £500 quickly, he’s lost him forever. His job at Chapterhouse Insurance is on shaky ground, and Scott needs a promotion if he’s going to outlive his failing department.

Only, everyone who gets promoted at Chapterhouse seems to get married first.

Against the advice of his friends, Scott decides he needs a wife to secure a promotion, and the money to finally get his dog back. But, being a fish obsessed semi-recluse, he quickly realises that he’s not going to find a woman the old fashioned way. Turning to the internet, Scott eventually finds a Russian woman looking to move to the UK.

When Maliki turns up at the airport, half Scott’s age, and definitely male, Scott begins to realise just how much trouble he’s in.

Living in close quarters with another man brings Scott to confront the spectre of his childhood, his absentee parents and the horrors of St. Savio's boarding school for boys.


Sarah Goodwin is currently studying for her MA in Creative Writing at Bath Spa University, and lives alone with a pot plant named Sidney.