I Hate Your Pet

This is a book for pet lovers and pet haters and other people that live in America today. Everyone wins – especially the helpless animals that are forever being processed through the Pet Retailing and Industrial Complex (Big Pet). This book will help change minds about what needs to be done to reduce animal suffering and how people can start on that today. But instead of the guilt-trippy misery associated with a lot of facts and sad pictures, this book makes the case with hilarious tales, outrageous suppositions and totally made up charts and graphs. Perhaps the most useful information within is the many helpful tips on how to get laid! Improve your batting average in just 10 minutes! Start reading immediately! Some people love pets. Some people tolerate pets. Some people actually, really hate pets. Some actual people and some corporate persons sell pets. Individually each person goes about their business related to pets and thinks they are doing normal things in their lives. The truth is that the entire pet ecosystem is out of whack. Seriously out of whack. Anyone willingly participating in a system responsible for the death of a cat or dog in America every 8 seconds is fantastically deluded or sadistically deranged. Nevertheless, here we are with “the people” up to their lips in vet bills and cat taco outfits and sh*t management solutions. Everywhere you go there are pets. Everybody is either convinced or getting convinced that pets are a good fit with whatever they are doing at the moment. Be it working, playing, eating, teaching, learning, shopping,… it doesn’t matter they think a pet should be there. I propose a climb-down from pet ubiquity. A fresh look at and a changing of the national mind about pets. Can’t we get along with a hell of a lot less pet choice? Can’t we agree to try to get the death rate up to 10 seconds? Go hog wild and shoot for 20?