Rules for Dating Your Ex

If your ex arrives in your hometown eighteen months after you walked out on him while you were eight months pregnant, follow this short list of rules before you give him a second chance.

Rule #1 – Don’t stand in the way of your brothers who want to rough him up.

Rule #2 – Don’t meet him for coffee and agree to allow him to meet your daughter.

Rule #3 – Don’t drool when your daughter falls asleep on his chest for the first time. It’s just your ovaries talking.

Rule #4 – Don’t let him hold your hand. While we’re at it, no hugs, no kisses on the cheek… just no physical contact in general. That only leads to remembering better times.

The last one is the most important…

Rule #5 – When you find yourself needing someone’s help and you’re tired of always asking your family, don’t let him be the one who’s there for you.

Because all those good qualities of his will suck you right back in and you’ll have no chance of fighting your feelings, especially now that he’s ready to be a father to your daughter.