The Miserable Mill

Dear Listener,

If you have chosen to listen to this audio for pleasure, I advise you to put it down instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest.
This recording contains such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, and coupons. If you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.
I also shouldn't mention the interactive features of the CD, which include:
A perplexing word game
Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives
Art from The Brett Helquist gallery
I have promised to record the entire history of these poor children, but you haven't, so please feel free to make another selection.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket