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3.75⭐Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage genuinely left me with such a weird feeling. Not in a bad way, just the kind of book that sits inside your chest after you finish it. I felt so deeply for Tsukuru. The saddest thing about him wasn’t even losing his friends, it was how easily that loss confirmed every insecurity he already had about himself. He spent so much time believing he was ordinary, forgettable, “colorless,” even when the people around him clearly saw more in him. That hurt.What I loved most was how the book slowly changed my feelings toward everyone. At first I blamed the friends for abandoning him, but later their pain and guilt felt just as real. Nobody was purely wrong or right. They were all just human, trying to survive their own emotions and choices. Kuro especially stayed with me long after I finished the book.Kuro was honestly my favorite character in Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage, which is kind of insane because she barely appears in the book, yet she still became my favorite character. Somehow, in such a short appearance, Murakami made her feel painfully real.What stayed with me the most was how human her choices felt. She had to choose between two people she deeply cared about, and even if choosing Shiro may have felt easier in that moment, it never protected her from the heartbreak and guilt that followed. She still carried the pain of leaving Tsukuru behind. And later, when she finally chose to let go and focus on herself, there was guilt in that too. That’s what made her feel so realistic to me, sometimes growing, moving on, and choosing yourself can still feel selfish even when it’s necessary.What made it even sadder was that Kuro herself was deeply insecure. She constantly felt like she wasn’t brave enough, courageous enough, or as beautiful as Shiro.But despite all those scars, she still managed to grow into herself and build a life. That’s why she felt so inspiring to me. And Haida disappearing honestly made me upset. It felt unfair. Tsukuru finally had someone who understood him and then suddenly he was gone too. The whole book felt like people constantly entering and leaving his life, and it made his loneliness feel even heavier. I still don’t fully understand the whole story about Haida’s father though. Maybe it meant something deeper symbolically, but emotionally it just felt random to me.Also Murakami PLEASE explain things sometimes 😭 There were so many mysteries and loose ends that kept me hooked emotionally till the end, but then they just… stayed unanswered. I genuinely wanted more.The only thing I didn’t really like was some of the objectification and unnecessary physical moments. Sometimes the book would be so emotionally deep and vulnerable, and then suddenly it would go in a direction that felt unnecessary and took me out of the moment a little.But overall, this book felt less like a story and more like quietly sitting with loneliness, insecurity, nostalgia, and the sadness of growing apart from people you once thought would stay forever.

A mesmerising mystery story about friendship from the internationally bestselling author of Norwegian Wood and 1Q84

Tsukuru Tazaki had four best friends at school. By chance all of their names contained a colour. The two boys were called Akamatsu, meaning ‘red pine’, and Oumi, ‘blue sea’, while the girls’ names were Shirane, ‘white root’, and Kurono, ‘black field’. Tazaki was the only last name with no colour in it.

One day Tsukuru Tazaki’s friends announced that they didn't want to see him, or talk to him, ever again.