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This was one of the most uncomfortable, disturbing, mentally exhausting reading experiences I’ve ever had, and I mean that as a compliment. It’s not an easy read at all. The writing is dense, sometimes overly articulate to the point where you feel like you’re being dragged through every sentence, but at the same time, it’s so intentional. Everything feels calculated, layered, and just… heavy.
The story being told through Eva’s letters? I get why people hate it, but I actually think it works. It forces you into her head whether you like her or not, and trust me, you probably won’t. She’s cold, self-aware in the worst ways, and honestly a terrible mother at times. But that’s what makes this book so unsettling: you do understand her. Just enough to feel uncomfortable about it.
And Kevin… I don’t even know. He’s monstrous, but also weirdly human. You can see the manipulation, the cruelty, the calculated behavior, but at the same time, there are moments where you’re like… is this nature? nurture? both? neither? The book never gives you a clean answer, and that’s what messed me up the most.
The pacing is rough, I won’t lie. The first like 60–70%? Slow. Dragging. Felt like I was forcing myself through it at times. But then the last part hits and suddenly you can’t breathe. Everything comes together in a way that makes the slow build almost worth it. Almost.
What really stuck with me though is the question the book leaves you with. Not who’s right or wrong, but who do you blame? Eva? Kevin? The father? Society? Or is that the point, there isn’t a clean answer?
By the end, I wasn’t even horrified by Kevin anymore. I was just… unsettled by everything. The family. The system. The fact that this kind of thing doesn’t come from nowhere.
This book is ugly. Like genuinely ugly. But it’s also one of those books you can’t shake. It gets in your head, makes you question everything, and then just… leaves you there.
I didn’t always enjoy reading it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
And honestly? That says everything.
I stopped reading because I just couldn't pay attention for a long time. I may come back to it.