N.B.

A collection of blog and tumblr entries from 2008-2013.

“I suppose I feel this work is my life, my true life, and everything else is merely preparation, clearing the space and propping up the kindling. My boyfriend always says, ‘It’s not like you have to do this.’ But yes, it is.

Because in many ways, it is everything: my source of amusement and diversion, my recreation, my sex, my identity, the most illuminating form of engagement, the most heightened form of contact. And in the long moments when I’m not primping for or in the middle of or coming down from an appointment—yes, coming down, as with a drug—I feel I am merely awaiting instructions. Or waiting to figure out what else could possibly be as fascinating and worthwhile. Can you see that about it? Even when it’s bad, even when I am uncomfortable or upset, it still seems worthwhile, because it defines my inner life.”