Melt With You

September 1984 Junior year is really shaping up to be something. After three years of trying, I finally made the cheer squad. And on the last day of summer practice the demigod of Glen Heights High, Joel Effing Miller, finally notices me-right after he runs me over and lands my leg in a cast. Yeah, junior year is really shaping up to be something. I swear I didn't see her. But I'm making it up to her every way I can. I'm driving her to school, helping her to all of her classes. I've never met anyone so down to earth-a girl who actually likes the things I like. Melissa Malinowski is a breath of fresh air. I can't stop thinking about her. I swear I didn't see her, but I should have. Melissa is too beautiful to miss. My name is Kelly Masterson, and nobody messes with me. I'm Joel Miller's girlfriend. So Joel ran Mouse-akowski over with his truck. So what? He should've finished her off. And now he wants to break up? As if. Nobody breaks up with me. Joel is mine, and he's going to stay that way. And after having a nice little chat with his mother, it's become clear why he's bending over backward to please that human speed bump. I'll make sure Mouse-akowski understands this, too. That will be the end of Joel and his nerdy little plaything. My name is Kelly Masterson, and nobody messes with me. 1984 called and it wants to Melt With You.