Men Get Divorced...Truths From the Hearts, Souls & Minds of Divorced Men

Author Stanley noted that in addition to his own divorce, that far too many of his friends were also divorced or divorcing. When he looked from the outside in and through his friends’ eyes and ordeals, he strangely noticed an almost “invisible” communication gap between spouses and ex-spouses, atypical to the 'usual' male, female communication 'problems.'

Men, especially men, seldom let on. After all, we’re men taught through years of conditioning and past “voices” we must be men – men don’t cry, men don’t feel, men move on. In reality, we share the same burning desire to know. We yearn for our questions to be answered.

And, we hurt. We hurt badly. We’re also scared to death.
We just can’t ‘let on.’

And why is it so easy to break up a union and shatter the lives we so cherished? Why has it become the norm?
We all suffer, we all wonder, and we are all not alone in our quiet desperation – we just don’t know that.

I’m not a PhD or a researcher. I’m merely a man. A divorced man and a man other men opened up to. I don’t profess that this book will bring relief to either side. But it may shed some light. It may answer some of those questions we never know or are afraid once again to ask.

It will speak the truth as I know it, as a man whose “been there and done that” in addition to the truths shared with me by other men; I simply put these emotions, fears and thoughts into words.

If this brings you, male or female, some form of comfort, if it answers some questions, confirms for women what you may have always thought, or simply makes you think, then that is a good thing – because we are not all alone in our “quiet desperation;” we are all simply desperate to know and so afraid to ask.

Moreover, and most importantly, we simply cannot continue to do this to our children. We just can’t. Please stop telling me how ‘resilient’ they are…they aren’t!
So, if this helps you, help them, whatever stage you are in, what could be better?

If you’re contemplating divorce and these simple pages can make you stop and think even for one more precious second, a second that leads you into thoughts you never even contemplated. Leads you to “fight” for what you once cherished and valued so dear to defend and rescue all the lives that will ripple.

Or, to simply get along after the divorce, for everyone’s well being, and again, especially for the children, then that’s a real good thing too.

You’ll never understand pre or post marriage if you simply don’t share the truth and communicate and try and understand each other and ourselves.
Hopefully this will allow men to finally do so.

Either way, in or out, pre or post, male or female, there’s everything to gain or everything to lose. It has always been your choice maybe just not an enlightened one.

I’m only here to tell the truth as a man, and to let other men know it is ok to feel what you feel, think what you think and to let women know that we do feel and what we feel, what we think, what we fear.

This is not a self help book on getting over a divorce!

These are ‘truths’ and 'insights' from men, to help us all learn to communicate better; before, during or after a divorce, for I believe men are terrible communicators in their personal lives and maybe this will help all of us to finally be better off.

Women wear it on their sleeves, we men roll ours up.