Young Auctioneers

Now, ladies and gentlemen, what am I offered for this elegant vase, imported direct from Italy, a most marvelous piece of workmanship, worth every cent of twenty-five dollars? Who will start it at five dollars? Start it at four? Start it at three? At two? At one dollar? What is that-fifty cents? Rather low, lady, but as I said before, these goods must be sold, regardless of the prices obtained. Fifty cents, it is! Fifty-fifty! Who will make it one dollar?" "Sixty!" "What, only sixty? Well, well, well! Never mind, the goods must go, and sixty cents is better than nothing. Sixty-sixty--" "Seventy-five!" "Eighty!" "One dollar!" "At last I am offered one dollar! Think of it! One dollar for a beautiful vase such as might well adorn the home of a Gould, or a Vanderbilt! But such is life. One dollar-one dollar--" "One and a quarter!" "One and a half!" "One and a half is offered! Oh, what a shame, ladies and gentlemen; a paltry dollar and a half for an article worth, at the very lowest estimate, twenty-five dollars. Who makes it two dollars?" "Two!" "Two and a half!" "Three!" "Three and a quarter!" "Three and a quar- Ah, four dollars? Four dollars! Who says five? Going at four-at four-at four. Four and a half-four and a quarter-this is your last chance, remember. Did you say five, sir? No? Well, four it is, then. Going-going-the last chance, ladies and gentlemen! Going-going-gone, to the lady in the brown dress, Andrew, for four dollars!